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Yesterday I tidied my desk & made some more space. I’m trying to resist filling all the space as quickly as possible. The urge to cover the desk in all sorts of bits & bobs is really strong. When I notice a strong feeling I usually try to decipher what it’s really about. I actually love a tidy work space in between the times when I’m being creative. Or if not the whole workspace at least the desk, lol. So what is it in me that needs me to fill all that space up? Is it to convince myself that I’m busy holding down a ‘serious’ job? Is it that, as a child, our family home was generally a very tidy place? Am I trying to impose order on chaos so I can feel more in control?

Of course it could be all of the above & more. On a Thursday at the Centre I run a Healing Meditation group. I set the room up in a circle but am often prompted to add in crystals, oracle cards or scented candles to a small part of the window sill that has become my altar. An altar is a useful focal point for the intention to bring in the healing energy as each person meditates. It translates the thought into a concrete reality. I love running this group as I often get insights myself when I am guiding the meditation. That’s because I have no idea what I’m going to say before I start to say it. In this hour I let my Guides download the word pictures that will help the people in the group get what they most need in that session.

Today we went to a garden to sit for a while and to meet a guide. It was also a place where the stuck energy could float off into the air like wisps of smoke. Part of the mediation was about allowing the empty space left by the release of this energy to be filled up with healing energy. And for us to recognise that the plants, trees, the Earth herself could absorb that energy and send it back as a living, growing garden for us. Transforming from one vibration to the next is an easy flow if we let ourselves go with it. After the meditation I thought about the space on my desk. Perhaps I try to cover the space because I’m not comfortable with the creative space it leaves me. After all, if I have room on my desk I can fill it or not. I have a choice. What I appreciate is that the space on my desk is never static. Books move around, pens scatter & regroup, jotters & paper chase each other from point to point. All of this movement requires there to be the space to move into. Like a garden, my desk needs places for things to be planted, to grow & to be discarded.

Encouraged by these thoughts I got out my paper & pastels. I sat for a while drawing. Out of the next creative hour I was able to gift a picture to one of the mediation participants, I had a picture for myself & I had two pictures from the garden (see Reeds in Rain above). I realise now that the space within (and on my desk) is a valuable part of my creative process. However, a lengthy period of my life has been hedged around with the commandment Thou Shalt Not Create Unless We Approve. Allowing my creativity to flow is has been harder because I have followed that inner commandment to the letter. That is why the space on my desk is scary. I have to go against that conditioned state, to cut myself free of the restraint and to dare to be myself.

I’m delighted to say that my desk still has space this evening & my room is still messy!

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