By Sandra Musser
The power of forgiveness is the key to peace, health and happiness.
So what makes forgiveness so powerful? True forgiveness purges a negative action or deed from your psychic. Your body holds negativity until it's released. Many illnesses are long term unforgiveness towards yourself or another.
Most understand the concept of forgiveness, but don’t practice true forgiveness in their lives. They say the words, "I forgive you." But are quick to remind the other person of the atrocity they committed when convenient. This is not forgiveness. True forgiveness has no conditions and is complete.
"...see forgiveness as the natural reaction to distress that rests on error, and thus "calls for help." Forgiveness is the only sane response...Unjustified forgiveness is attack. And this is all the world can ever give. It pardons "sinners" sometimes, but remains aware that they have sinned. And so they do not merit the forgiveness that it gives. This is the false forgiveness which the world employs to keep the sense of sin alive...If you can see your brother merits pardon, you have learned forgiveness is your right as much as his...Forgiveness recognized as merited will heal." A Course in Miracles
Certain people deemed "unworthy" of the power of forgiveness such as murderers, rapists, ex-spouses, parents, etc. are often excluded as candidates for forgiveness. It takes great learning to realize ALL situations and circumstances are worthy of the power of forgiveness.
I can hear some of you now. "But they don’t deserve to be forgiven after what they did!" Atrocities large and small are calls for help. Punishing them does not fix them! It makes them worse, which our failed criminal justice system shows.
The only thing that heals negativity is love. And, the healing power of forgiveness is love.
When you constantly recall something negative from the past, it only serves to remind you of past pain. It’s YOU that feels the pain again and again, not the perpetrator. The other person is gone. In some cases they’re dead. At minimum they are continuing on with their life and have no thoughts about you at all. They probably have no conscious idea you are even suffering.
Who do you think you’re hurting?
Like many of you my journey through life has been challenging. Just like the stock market, I’ve gone up and down to the point where I thought I had LOST IT many times. I've also started over many times with my personal life.
A good example of healed turmoil is when my son got into big trouble as a teenager. He could have been put in jail for more years than I like to imagine, because of untrue hearsay. I allowed myself to sink to the lowest of lows. The ego took over, and I went down to the level of a bottom feeder!
This was my baby who couldn’t hurt a fly. The way I saw it, my son had been wronged! I allowed depression and anger to set in. Through the whole process, I forgot who I was hurting. The accuser in this situation had no idea what I was going through, nor do I feel they cared. The whole time I knew better, but I just had to get in that last kick at the can of self-pity. That last bit of JUSTIFIED anger had to be let out. Blame had to be placed and those involved PUNISHED!
Who was I kidding? I was the one I was punishing all along.
My stomach was in knots. They matched the tight knots in my shoulder muscles and neck. To get back to the surface I had to claw my way up inch by inch. I should have known better! I’d taken this trip downward before when I divorced my sons father. Exhausted, and beaten, I finally picked myself up and dusted myself off. I was ready to go to work to heal this pain through the power of forgiveness.
It took great strength and understanding to realize my son had to experience this situation as part of his journey. It was a blessing in disguise.
I’ve come to realize there are no accidents in the universe. Everything has a divine or greater plan. He had to learn the power of forgiveness himself if nothing else. God/the creator uses many tools in an attempt to make us see our True Selves.
My son had to release this negative hold on his life to find the gift, which put him on the spiritual path, and permanently changed his values. He sees the world differently now, as a spiritual ascension school. Now, I ask you...do you think he would have looked inward towards spirituality at seventeen without something traumatic happening to him? Not likely. Almost a decade later, he is still committed to his spiritual path.
So why is the power of forgiveness the key to inner peace and happiness?
When something negative from your past keeps resurfacing in your mind...you relive the same old story over and over again. Each time the pain will be like it just happened. The story is always the same. Ever notice, no matter how many times it replays in your mind it’s never resolved? Hmmmmmmm.
The key is to look at this replaying negative video:
1. Accept that this event did happened.
2. Take time to see the spiritual lesson.
3. Then release it because it isn't happening any more.
Sounds simple doesn't it. We all know that it's easier to stay angry, because we feel justified.
I know a person who is still tormented by a fleeting nasty comment from her spouse made 20 years earlier. Her spouse doesn’t even remember it. But this woman relives this pain over and over again. The same old feelings of victim-hood, anger, sorrow and pain are regurgitated and felt each time. She ends up feeling powerless and depressed.
This doesn’t have to be!
When someone "triggers" deep negative emotions within me, it's because I feel deep inside what they said is true. Yes! It's a signal that this issue is up for healing within me through the healing power of forgiveness.
If I had not reacted, but just noticed it, it would most likely be something I have already healed. It may be something put into my life to show me how I've grown. Sometimes it's a test to see if you truly have let it go.
I have compassion and understanding for the person who brought this gift to me. How can I judge them, when I've been there, and done that? I would be judging myself!
When someone says something negative to me it's how they feel about themselves...not me! But, if I react, it's about me too. There would be no lasting negative effect on me if I didn't think it was my true. My reaction is the key. This is how I know if something is up for healing within me. When I react...it's mine.
The power of forgiveness gives me control of my life. Yes! In the process of forgiveness, I accept responsibility for my past, so I can change my future. I decide if I'm ready to let negative experiences go. I decide if I've had enough of the roller-coaster ride up and down my emotional ladder. It's the past and the past is over. It’s just my "mind" that keeps it alive.
Rejoice! This can be conquered!
But...it has to be unconditional forgiveness. Anything else is not forgiveness.
It’s not good enough just to say the words, "I forgive you." It has to be complete forgiveness. Your only vivid memories should be good and positive about that person. I’m not talking about pushing it under the rug. That’s what you’ve been doing! I’m talking about "releasing" it so it doesn’t affect your life any more.
Let's take a look at the method I used to release childhood sexual abuse.
Seven Effective Steps to the Power of Forgiveness:
1. Sit comfortably with your back straight in a quiet place with no
2. Take ten deep breathes and let them out completely so you feel
a hollow in the gut. This clears the old dead air out from the
bottom of your lungs and re-oxygenates your cells. It also
relaxes your mind and body.
3. With eyes closed, focus inward behind your eyes to that place of
void for a few moments. Allow yourself to explore how this feels.
You may see some lights. It's all good.
4. Now, imagine your pure perfect spirit within. Feel it’s wonderful
loving power around your heart. Envelope it with your spiritual
arms, hold it...feel it’s love...become one with it...nurture
yourself. This is your perfect inner child, your lifeline connection
with God/the creator. Become the mother or father to your inner
child and reassure him or her that you're going to be there for
them from now on. That you are going to look within for your
source of true love. Take as much time as you want with this
process...it's the most important step.
5. When you're ready visualize the person who did you wrong
walking towards you. Smile at them, and watch them
approach...calmly. Why? Because you are now in control. Realize
they couldn’t have done what they did to you unless they were
in a place of sadness or torment themselves. A happy person
wouldn’t even dream of committing such a crime. Feel
compassion for them. They’re in pain. It’s a huge possibility that
what they did to you, was done to them as well, which doesn’t
make it right. It just helps you understand.
6. Let them stand in front of you. If you choose, grasp their hands.
Feel their warmth. Smile back at them. Remember, you are now
the one in control. See the light the creator put into each and
every person in their eyes. Look at them and say: "I forgive you
for _______. You made a mistake, and I forgive you." Keep
gazing into their eyes. This person has been waiting for a long
time to hear these words from you, even if only subconsciously.
Then still looking at them say: "Go in peace and love." It's
important that you mean it and that it's unconditional or you will
7. Watch them walk away, and know that you have not only
released yourself from this situation, but you have released them
as well. Through their release, you're released. It was your
anger towards the situation, which held you both hostage. You
have taken control and changed both of your lives.
So how do you feel? Could you feel your place of power? The profound benefit of the healing power of true forgiveness is it releases the negative weight you've been carrying. You should feel much lighter...happier...at peace. The power of forgiveness freed me from this self-defeating straight jacket.
It made room for something new and wonderful to come into my life to fill the vacuum created by purged negativity. This is exactly what happened when I forgave my Grandfather for sexually abuse from the age of four.
I found happiness I didn't know was even possible.
Personal power filled me, because I no longer saw myself as a victim. I didn't even know I saw myself that way, because I had put on a tough protective coating. For the first time since the abuse, I was the one in control. I took back my power and used it to end not only my torment...but my Grandfathers as well, even though he had passed on. Now I see only the good times with my grandfather.
Even if you don't recall any good times with that person, see the light in them beyond their sadness. Understand, a happy person couldn’t do what they did. I don’t even think about my former abuse now unless someone brings it up. And, even when it does come up, the pain and anger is gone...because it's been released. It doesn't trigger me anymore. I can talk about it with no emotion. This event has become a teaching tool now on the power of forgiveness.
If you've gone through this process, and the negative feelings return, there can be only one reason. You have not fully forgiven this person. Consider trying the process again. Many have a hard time making this jump. Extra help through seminars or healing groups may be necessary to make this life changing journey. The twelve step process through AAA is powerful not only for the people in the program, but for anyone. It will be a time commitment you will never regret.
My article on this site, "Five Ways to Find Inner Peace in This Time of Turmoil," is another helpful guide to find peace and happiness. Just put my name, Sandra Musser into the search to find it.
Ho'oponopono is a powerful Hawaiian healing method that requires you to take full responsibility for everything that happens in your life...yes everything! I will have an article on this process and how it's changed my life soon.
So what is the significance of the power of forgiveness before 2012 and beyond?
The healing power of forgiveness is more crucial now than at any other time in recorded history! The Age of Aquarius and the Mayan Great Cycle both change, around 2012 or so.
At this time the values from the present age, the Age of Pisces will be changing to the values of Aquarius. Values have changed at these critical junctures since the beginning of time. The power of forgiveness is key to making this shift to the values of the next great cycle.
So how do you prepare for this great cycle change? The only way is to clean your mental house. Realign your values to those of the coming Aquarian Age of "love, brotherhood, unity and integrity." Clear what doesn’t work in your life anymore through the power of forgiveness.
What if nothing dramatically changes around 2012?...So what!
You'll experience more inner peace, love, health and happiness in your life. Nothing can replace inner peace! Nothing else is more worth going after! Without it, nothing else matters!
Let new relationships evolve on their own merits, without prejudging them. The first thing I ask myself when I meet someone new is, "Why did this person come into my life?" You see...all relationships have a common thread. There’s something both parties have to learn from the other to help them both grow spiritually. Welcome these new relationships.
My soles record is the sum total of all the good and all the bad that has happened in my life. The negative situations were my life lessons. The positive ones showed my progress. My forgiven lessons also purged negative karma from my souls record. The negative has shaped me more than the positive experiences, because it is through them I have changed. The power of forgiveness gave me control of my life.
Still burning brightly under the clouds of negativity is your pure perfect spirit, just as God created you. It's always been there from the beginning, and it always will be. The source of your power is within. The healing power of forgiveness is all that is needed to heal the negativity present in your life so you can KNOW this perfect spirit.
A Course in Miracles, The Foundation for Inner Peace
A Road Less Traveled, M. Scott Peck
Anchoring the Light Seminars, Deyhana Lee Lim
You Can Heal Your Life, Louise Hay
Zero Limits, Joes Vitale and Ihaleakala Hew Len, PhD
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